Change What You Can

Written by Judy Klipin

There are many things in life that we can change.

The clothes we wear. The colour of our hair. The people we spend time with.  The things we spend time and money on.  The way we think about and respond to events…

And then there are the many things that we cannot change.

The weather.  The economy.  Poverty.  Famine.  What other people think. How other people feel.  How other people behave…

Do you notice a pattern?

We can only really change what relates to us.  The only person you have any real influence or control over (other than your children when they are very little) is yourself.  When we try to manage, control or change anything that is outside of our sphere of influence or control, outside of ourselves, we waste precious energy, time and emotions.

One of my biggest tasks as a coach is to help my clients to understand that, although they may not be able to change a person, situation or event, they are able to change if and/or how they are with that person, situation or event.

You may not be able to make your romantic partner love you the way you want to be loved, but you can choose if you want to stay in a relationship that does not satisfy you.

You may not be able to make your boss less selfish, but you can change how you relate to your boss so that you are less affected by his or her selfishness.

You can’t change other people’s behaviour.  But you can change how you respond to it.

Next month, my friend and colleague Amy Eden and I will be running a workshop over the weekend of 24/25 March in Washington DC.  We are going to be showing the participants how to get clear on what they can change, and how to go about making those changes.  We will be helping them to change how they are in relationships, at work and with themselves.

You can see us answering some FAQs or register here.  Please note there is a ‘bring a friend’ special rate operational from today.

Feel free to drop me a line if you have any outstanding questions on the workshop.

I hope to see you there!


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