Growing Back in the Hurt Places

by Judy Klipin

I am working with my graphic designer to develop the badge for the adult child coaches I certify to work with my materials. I am excited about what we have so far. Two starfish on a radiant background. It captures everything about the work that we do, simply and powerfully.

If you have read my book you will know that I explain the use of a starfish as my logo in the early pages. In the book I give two explanations, but there are so many reasons why starfish are the perfect symbol for the work that we do with (and as) adult children.

The “Starfish Story” describes a man who, while taking an early morning walk on the beach, comes across thousands of starfish in the sand. Worried that they will die as the day gets hotter, he starts to throw them back into the sea. A passerby, observing him, tells him he is crazy because there are so many starfish that he will never be able to make a difference. The man responds by throwing another starfish into the sea and saying “I made a difference to that one.”

As life coaches, that is what we do. We make a difference to individual people, who then go on to make a difference in their lives and thus to the people around them.

Starfish have regenerative qualities. If you cut off a limb, they grow another one! Adult children, too, have the ability to grow back in the hurt places, stronger and more resilient.

To feel able and actualized, we need to have Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual balance and harmony in our lives. But we also need to have Relational harmony and health. We need to have healthy, boundaried and adult relationships; with ourselves, with others, with our work, and with whatever our version of a higher being may be. As adult child coaches, we believe that Relational health is the cornerstone of all other progress and happiness in our lives. This is why we call ourselves Relational Dynamics coaches. The starfish, which typically has five limbs, illustrates the importance all of these elements.

Lastly, did you know that Starfish are being renamed Sea Stars? Scientists have realized that they aren’t fish at all and to call them that is misleading and wrong! This information really tickles my fancy. It is such a quirky metaphor for the power of names and how being labeled by others influences the way we see ourselves. I also love the timing of the renaming – as we adult child coaches work with our clients to help them see how they really are, rather than how they have been perceived to be (by themselves as well as others), the sea stars are also taking back their true identity!

I can’t wait for the coaching badges to go live – next week some time. In the meantime, I offer you a sea star to brighten up your day.

A Sea Star by any other name...

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