I’m only human, after all

I am a good coach.

Actually that is not true – what is more honest is that I am an excellent coach.  As much as it pains me to write that, it is the truth.  I know it is.

I am not one to blow my own horn.  I have a superstitious and childlike fear that when I say – never mind write – such a thing I will be ‘hoist with my own petard.’  I was brought up to believe that pride comes before a fall.  So I tend to be self-effacing and – as is the case with most adult children – I play my talents and abilities down.

Which is why I tend not to broadcast how good I am at my work.  I almost never remember to tell my newsletter readers when I have been featured in a magazine article.  I don’t retweet nice comments about me.  I don’t post appreciative feedback from my clients on Facebook.

I don’t do that partly because blowing my own trumpet makes me deeply uncomfortable and partly (mostly, truth be told) because the very idea feels icky to me.

I don’t like to use private correspondence or conversations with my clients as currency to market myself – it feels like a betrayal of our private relationship to make public our interactions.

Similarly I don’t like to use my private relationships, my meals, my home, my material possessions… as evidence of how happy I am and as a covert promise of how my clients’ lives will look and feel if they work with me.

As pious as it may sound, I really do always try to put my clients first and not violate our relationships or their trust in me as a confidant.   I try to be as excellent and human a coach as I possibly can and to rely on my skill and empathy to help my clients heal, rather than presenting myself as having a perfect life – the kind of life that feels so unreachable for so many of the people I work with.

That is my choice and it feels authentic and right to me.

I know it is none of my business how other coaches choose to market themselves and put themselves out there.

I try so hard not to fall into the ‘compare and despair’ trap but sometimes it grabs me. I see other coaches doing all these things that make my skin crawl and they are the ones with the overflowing client lists, charging top (and sometimes over-the-top) dollar and seeming to be on unstoppable upward trajectories.

And I wonder, what am I doing wrong?

Please don’t get the wrong impression – I am doing fine.  More than fine.  I have a good solid client list, I have an excellent reputation and I do important and powerful work with my clients.  I am more than happy with where I am as a coach.

I do, however, sometimes wonder how different my coaching practice would be if I was a bit more ‘out there’.

But then it wouldn’t feel like me.  And that wouldn’t be helpful to anyone.

Tags: adult child | being an excellent coach | being human | branding | coaching | marketing | relationships | social media | trust

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