To Share or Not To Share
I think it is fair to say that I have some therapist tendencies, having spent more than a decade in psychotherapy myself.
As a result, and because I am by nature quite a private person, I don’t share very much about my personal circumstances or life with my clients. Sure, I’ll tell an appropriate and supportive anecdote where required, but I am not one to lay my personal life bare to my clients.
On the whole I think this approach works for me and my clients. It feels appropriate to not share with them the day-to-day happenings in my life. It is their time after all; they are not paying to hear me talking about where I am going on holiday, what the names of my family members are and what we are having for supper tonight.
But sometimes I think I am too boundaried. We discuss this quite a lot in Supervision, my supervisor and I.
Do my clients feel that I am withholding from them?
Would they trust and open up to me more if they knew a little more about me?
Would it be inspiring and reassuring to know that I am an adult child – just as they are – AND I am also happy in my life?
Would they take comfort in the knowledge that I have happy and healthy relationships – with my partner, family and friends – that I love my work (actually, I hope they know that already!) and that am happy and content in almost every area of my life (of course I wouldn’t say no to a healthier bank balance) ?
Or would it make them feel resentful and despairing when they compare their own life to what I present to them?
How much is too much? And how little is too little?
I’d love to know your thoughts – please share them!
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Tags: coach | coaching | how much to share | life circumstance | therapist | therapy | what to say
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