M is for…Mind Your Own Business

by Judy Klipin

Mind Your Own Business

Byron Katie says that there are three kinds of business in the world: my business, your business and G-d’s business.  She says that much of our discomfort and anxiety comes from getting out of our own business, or allowing others into our business.

When we are in other people’s business, we are concerning ourselves with things that have nothing to do with us. We worry about what other people think and feel, and how they may or may not behave. And there is little we can do about that.

When we are in G-d’s business, we are concerning ourselves with things over which we have absolutely no control. When we worry about the plane crashing or the world coming to an end, we are in G-d’s business and we are spending, no wasting, our energy on thoughts and anxieties that are going to go nowhere.  Fast.

When we let other people into our business, we are weakening our boundaries and we are opening ourselves up to being bullied or rescued. We are allowing ourselves to feel weak and child-like.

Staying in our own business, and keeping others out of it, is very hard (particularly for adult children).   From an early age many of us have been dragged into other people’s business and/or have had other people encroaching on ours. It is hard to know where we and our business end and where someone else and their business begin.

We struggle with boundaries.

Just as good fences make good neighbours, good boundaries make good relationships.  We need to stay in our business by taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions and allowing others to take responsibility for theirs, in order for us to have happy and healthy relationships  – with people, with work, with ourselves.

When you mind your own business you mind your own life.

Feeling overwhelmed in your life, work or relationships?

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