O is for…

by Judy Klipin

…Others-centred

The opposite of self-centred, when we are others-centred we put everybody else first and ourselves last.  We do what others expect of us  – or what we think others expect of us.  We feel responsible for others.  We consider others before we consider ourselves.

It is exhausting and dis-heartening and, when we don’t get considered in return, we can feel angry and resentful. And become overwhelmed…

To have healthy and happy relationships (with yourself, with others, with your work), you need to stop putting others first, and put yourself at the centre of your own life.   Not selfishly, but self-fully.

…Overwhelm

It is easy to feel and become overwhelmed.  When we feel responsible for everything and everyone around us, we become overwhelmed.  When we can’t ask for help, we become overwhelmed.  When we can’t say no, we become overwhelmed.

If you want to avoid overwhelm-induced burnout you must learn to say no to the things that you don’t want to do, to ask for help with the things you aren’t able to do on your own, and take responsibility only for your what is truly yours.

…Ouch

Life is hard and painful sometimes.

This is a universally held truth (just ask M. Scott Peck).  But we sometimes struggle to allow ourselves to accept this fact, and pretend that everything is fine, even when it isn’t.  We don’t acknowledge our sadnesses, pain, disappointments, angers, resentments and more.

We suppress our true feelings.

And then we become removed from ourselves and our reality, sick, depressed, burned out or just plain grumpy.

Allow yourself to feel the pain and acknowledge the sadness or anger that is present in your life so that it can leave you, rather than taking you prisoner.

…Own Your Brilliance

We are all brilliant in our own way – we all have talents, strengths and abilities that are unique to us.  We do ourselves (and the world) a disservice when we try to be the-same-kind-of brilliant as others.

Find out what your own way of being brilliant is and celebrate it.

Feeling overwhelmed in your life, work or relationships?

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