S is for…
Stories
We tell ourselves stories all the time – stories about how we should think, feel and act. Stories about what we can expect for ourselves and of others. Stories about the world and our place in it.
Horror stories.
Bad-luck stories.
Poor –me stories.
We use the stories to determine how happy and fulfilled we allow ourselves to be.
But it is just as easy to tell a positive story as it is to tell a negative one.
Tell yourself a different story. Choose one with a happy ending.
Or even better, a happy ‘to be continued… ‘
Should
Should may have more than 4 letters, but it is sill a swear-word. We use the word ‘should’ to beat ourselves up, to make ourselves feel guilty, to bully ourselves into doing things we don’t really want to do. We imagine what people are going to say, think, feel or how they are going to behave, and we tell ourselves we should do certain things in response to these imaginings .
We say things like “I should lose weight,” “I should go to the party,” “I should feel sad.” Even when we don’t want to lose weight, when we would rather stay at home with a good book, or when we don’t feel sad.
The only thing/s you should do are those that make you happy, and that you choose for yourself.
Stop it!
If we don’t pay attention we can get into a downward spiral of shoulds and scary stories.
We need to mind out minds and make sure that our narratives about the world and our lives are constructive and optimistic. We need to let ourselves off the hook and look for coulds instead of shoulds.
Sometimes, we need to tell ourselves to stop it.
Stop scaring yourself. Stop criticizing yourself. Stop feeling guilty. Stop apologizing.
Just stop it!
Show, Don’t Tell
Any writer will tell you that the trick to a good read is to show, rather than tell. Showing is more effective than telling. It is more powerful and more convincing.
As in writing, so in life.
Telling people how you want to be treated can get you so far, but showing them you mean business will get you that much further.
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Tags: chaneg how you are | coach | coaching | lies | show don't tell | stop apologizing | stop critisizing | stop feeling guilty. stories
- “I have seen various psychologists and therapists but none of them have the skill of Judy in being able to relate to me and the way I think about things.”
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- “Perception is everything and working with Judy has helped me realise my true potential by changing my outlook of life into more positive ones. I enjoy walking out of a life coaching session feeling like I am in control again, less stressed and more energetic.”
- “Judy is my go-to person when I find myself uncertain about how to interpret the signposts in my life. Her insights and ability to draw out what lies deepest inside have helped provide clarity and integrity at pivotal life moments over many years.”
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