Dump the Situationship for a Real-ationship

by Judy Klipin

I love the concept of a ‘situationship’ (actually I don’t love the concept so much as I love the name for the concept): not a relationship, not a friendship, but an ill-defined situation that exists between two people.

We’ve all been there and done that. We meet someone who makes our heart (or our hormones) go pitter-patter. We construct a fantasy about who they are and what our life together is going to look like. (Perfect, obviously.) We imagine meeting our future in-laws, decorating our future house, naming our unborn babies….

We get so caught up in the dream that we don’t pay attention to the reality.

And then, when reality bites, we are so invested in our fantasy that we feel we have to keep going. Like a gambling addict who keeps throwing good money after bad, we stick in the ‘situationship’ and try to make it more like our dream and less like the reality.

We try to love the other person into being who we want them to be.

Being in a situationship can be very destructive and miserable-making. And it keeps us stuck in a neither-nor kind of no-man’s land. Situationships stop us from moving on and making the space for a real relationship; (a real-ationship).

Rather than being in love with who you want someone to be, cut our losses and find someone who you can love for who they really are. Sign up now for my online Find Yourself in Love programme.

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