Burnout: When You Know Better, You Can Do Better

Eight years ago, when I first started to think, talk and write about Burnout, it was a relatively unusual and unique concept. Now, Burnout is the buzzword. Everyone seems to be talking about it and, sadly, lots of people seem to be experiencing it…

On the surface it would appear to be Very Bad that there is so much Burnout in the world, but I think it is also partly Very Good, because – as Maya Angelou said – when we know better we can do better. And I think it is very safe to say that most of us now know better.

We now know that Burnout is a systemic condition that affects every element of our life (our body, our mind, our emotions, our spirit and our relationships). We now know that if we don’t take it seriously and address it, Burnout can lead to all sorts of horrors – including diabetes, heart disease, depression, divorce and more. And, we also now know that there are a whole lot of things that we can do to try and address Burnout:

Reduce stress
Stop worrying so much
Do more things that feel meaningful
Improve work/life balance
Build better boundaries
Eat less
Move more
Relax more
Learn to meditate
Take up yoga
Sleep more
See more friends
Drink less
Smoke less

All of these suggestions have enormous merit.

But!!!

I don’t believe (and you are welcome to call me a killjoy on this) that an instruction to reduce stress levels is helpful or even particularly realistic. If we knew how to stop being stressed, we would. The problem is not that we are unaware that stress is bad for us. The problem, I believe, is that we don’t know why we allow ourselves to reach stratospheric levels of stress. We don’t understand what is making us unable to resist or – even more troubling – what makes us open ourselves up to those stressors.

Because you can do any (or all) of these things and almost certainly you will start to feel a bit better. But you won’t have any greater understanding of why you have reached the point of burnout.

We can take a whole lot of steps to make our lifestyle healthier, but unless we understand what needs to change in our hearts and minds, we will never effectively prevent burnout from happening to us again.

What are the thoughts, beliefs and fears that cause us to work ourselves to the point of overwhelming stress and exhaustion and Burnout? What is the reason we feel we can’t say no and can’t ask for help? What drives us to push our bodies, minds and spirits to breaking point?

Next time you find yourself pushing yourself beyond comfortable limits, ask yourself these 6 questions:

1. Why am I pushing myself so hard?
2. What am I afraid of?
3. What am I running from?
4. What do I fear will happen if I stop trying so hard?
5. What do I need to give myself right now?
6. How can I treat myself with kindness and compassion?

The answers to these questions will give you some insight into the underlying fears and beliefs that underpin your drive to push yourself to exhaustion. And they will give you some clues about how to be nicer to yourself, and hopefully prevent Burnout from striking (or returning).

Tags: burnout | burnout recovery | energy | exhausted | just say no | others-centred. | overwhelm | resilience