Adult Children and Burnout
I spent most of March resting. I was supposed to go to America but was grounded by my ear (please see previous blog post!).
I found myself at home with nearly three weeks blocked out of my diary. For about three seconds I considered filling the time with work and then I was overwhelmed by a need to sleep.
And sleep.
And sleep some more.
I realized just how tired I was. For the few months leading up to my three-week rest, each of my key life areas had been affected by my exhaustion. My physical health had not been optimal for some time. My mental functioning had been missing in action. I was emotionally exhausted. My daily practice of quiet time and spiritual connection had fallen by the wayside some time ago. My relationships were not quite as harmonious as I like them to be.
Scarily, I hadn’t been aware that any of this had been happening. Sure I had vague inklings that I was slightly off kilter, but I didn’t have the time or space to connect the dots and realize that I was – yet again – teetering on the edge of burnout.
Ironically, I had and have been collaborating with the other adult child coaches to develop a Burnout Recovery Coaching Programme. We had identified a need amongst our clients to offer information, support and tools to address and prevent burnout. (This life coaching programme will be ready for the public in the next month or so – contact me to find out more.)
Adult children are prone to burnout; the characteristics and quirks that define us make us sitting ducks for exhaustion:
Adult children find it hard to say no. Even when we don’t want to do what we are being asked, our ‘others-centredness’ compels us to say yes.
Adult children are very empathic and scarily intuitive. This means that we don’t only feel our own pain, sadness, joy, despair, hope – we also feel the emotions of and for the people around us. Often overwhelmingly so.
Adult children are very unforgiving of themselves. When tired and not as productive as usual, we push ourselves even harder, rather than taking a rest.
And so it goes on…
The unexpected rest allowed me to viscerally see and understand how being an adult child pre-disposes me to burnout. I relived – thankfully briefly – the horror of burnout and remembered the importance of rest. My late father, the wisest person I know, always used to tell me that the only cure for tiredness was sleep. And last month, I really, really got what he meant.
As a result of my rest, I am back to my usual level of joy and productivity.
I am sleeping properly and waking feeling refreshed.
I am able to exercise again.
My creativity has returned and my intuition is even sharper than usual (sometimes a little disconcerting for my clients).
My sense of humour and energy levels have returned, I am journaling and spending quiet time with myself again.
And I am less cranky and irritable and more gentle and generous in all of my relationships.
The trick with burnout is to rest enough to regain our selves and our life-force, and then to put in place structures to maintain our relational, physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health.
What are some of your techniques to regain and/or maintain your life force? Please share them with me by posting a comment…
Feeling overwhelmed in your life, work or relationships?
- Purchase one of my self-study online courses.
Tags: adult children | burnout | burnout recovery | coaching | exhaustion | others-centred. | overwhelm | rest | sleep
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