Telling My Own Story

One of the recurring themes in my practice is working with my clients to help them to identify where they are being ‘others-centred.’  Where they are putting other people’s needs (real or imagined) above their own.  We all do it  – try to look after others at our own expense.  We don’t mean to do it necessarily, but our unconscious preoccupation with meeting other peoples’ needs often negatively impacts on our ability to meet our own.

Often these needs are imagined – we create a story in our minds about what others need or want and go about trying to do everything in our power to give it to them.

Even if it isn’t actually what they want.

Or what they need.

Even if it is most definitely not what we want or need.

That  is what I call being ‘others-centred.’  It is not a healthy or helpful – to us or to the people around us.

Once we have identified the patterns, we can begin work on creating new ones.  We can start to think about our own needs, wants and preferences, and to go about meeting those first, and the needs of everyone else next.

Why am I telling you this?

Because yesterday, after I posted my blog about saying what I want to say, I realized that that is exactly what I had been doing!  Imagining the needs and wants of the people who read my newsletter and ignoring my own desires related to writing it.

So, last night I sat down and wrote my newsletter – for me.  I wrote what I wanted to write and shared what I wanted to share.  I put myself at the centre of the experience.  It was a positive and enjoyable exercise. And I am pretty happy with the result.

If you’d like to read the newsletter, you can subscribe to receive it here.  I’d love to know what you think of it.  (But only because I am interested – not because I am trying to please you!)

Tags: blogs | coaching | honour yourself | identifying unhelpful patterns | others-centred. | please yourself | writing

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