Women and Burnout

Every year, there is much attention and fanfare about International Women’s day. The week that 8 March falls in is filled with news and views about women and the importance of recognising our importance.

While some people are not convinced that there should be a day dedicated to thinking about women and our role in the world, the more I do the work I do, the more convinced I become of the need for it.

The vast majority of the clients who come to me for Burnout Recovery coaching are women. Some may argue (and I may agree) that this is because women are more comfortable with showing vulnerability and seeking help. And it is also true (studies prove it) that women are more likely to experience burnout than men are. I am sure there are many reasons for this, chief among them the fact that women bear some responsibilities and burdens that men do not; burdens that make us very susceptible to exhaustion and burnout.

The Burden of Responsibility

Women have a whole lot of roles and responsibilities to fulfil; we are mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, friends, carers. We work, both in and outside of the home. We play active roles in our communities. Of course, men also play multiple roles, but it seems to me that my female clients are expected – by themselves just as much as by others – to play more roles than my male clients are.

The constant juggling of expectations, roles and responsibilities is very, very tiring.

The Burden of Patriarchy

Being a woman in a Man’s World (even though it isn’t nearly as exclusionary or Manly as it once was) is a lot to bear. We have to fight to prove ourselves, to be heard, to be taken seriously. We and our knowledge and ideas are often overlooked, patronised or mansplained to.

Keeping our tempers while fighting to be heard is very, very tiring.

The Burden of Vulnerability

Women are vulnerable. We are vulnerable to emotional and physical abuse and attack. We are vulnerable to exploitation. We are constantly on guard; looking over our shoulders to check that we are safe and experiencing a surge of adrenaline when we fear that we may not be.

The struggle to stay safe, both in and out of our own homes, is very, very tiring.

We get overwhelmed because we are overburdened. And we add to our societal burdens by taking on more than we can manage, by saying yes instead of no, and by not asking for sorely-needed help.

Which is why, I believe, so many of my burnout clients are women.

We need to support ourselves and each other to feel less overwhelmed and exploited. We need to put down those of our burdens that it is possible to put down. We need to give ourselves a break.

We can do all this by asking for help, by learning to say no and by giving ourselves permission to make new choices.

Tags: avoid crisis | be happy | boundaries | burnout | burnout recovery | coach | coaching | energy | exhausted | exhaustion | others-centred. | overwhelm | resilience | saying no