Why Don’t We Pay More Attention to Ourselves?
Last week I gave a free continuing education phone seminar for coaches. The topic was “Understanding and Preventing Compassion Fatigue for Coaches”.
Having been on the receiving end of compassion fatigue more than a couple of times, and having witnessed and coached a not inconsiderable number of coaches in the grips of it, compassion fatigue is a subject that is very close to my heart.
So it was a little surprising (and a bit disappointing) that so few people joined the (free, gratis, no charge at all) call. Popularity anxiety aside, I can’t help wishing that there had been hundreds, if not thousands, of coaches on that call.
Ironically, the tiny-to-me audience served only to illustrate how so many of us pay lip service to one of the things we preach the most: the importance of self-care and self-reflection.
As coaches we are committed to growing and learning new skills so that we can build our businesses, grow our client bases, increase our list sizes…but when it comes to building our own resilience and improving our own quality of life, we often fall sadly short.
Why are we happy to drive ourselves into the ground when we spend our days helping our clients to stop doing the very same thing?
Why do we shy away from asking for help and seeking support when that is what we coach our clients to get right?
Why do we allow ourselves to become out of touch with our bodies when we teach our clients to tune into theirs?
Perhaps it’s just me, and the (admittedly rather narrow) sample of coaches I come into contact with, but I can’t really believe that we are the only ones who are affected by our clients’ emotions and hardships. We can’t be the only coaches who feel our clients’ pain, who walk with them on their journey of death and rebirth, who facilitate their soul searching.
Surely we are all exposed to the increasingly challenging stories and emotions: trauma, anger, sadness, upset, outrage, etc. I truly believe that most coaches are, to greater or lesser degree, sensitive and empathetic to our clients’ experiences. Aren’t the vast majority of us one wo/man bands who have to do everything in our businesses: marketing, admin, invoicing, writing as well as coaching?
And if all of this is true of most of us – and I really believe that it is – then surely we all need help and support in keeping ourselves happy, healthy and energized, so that we can help our clients be the same?
I’ve written a short “Survival Guide for People Who Care” eBook. It’s free to download here and provides tips and tools for self care in general and ideas for recognizing, addressing and preventing compassion fatigue in particular.
Take care,
Judy
Feeling overwhelmed in your life, work or relationships?
- Purchase one of my self-study online courses.
Tags: ask for help | coach | coaching | energy | exhaustion | self-care
Subscribe to Real Life Coaching
For email notifications about new blogs I publish, click here.
- “I have seen various psychologists and therapists but none of them have the skill of Judy in being able to relate to me and the way I think about things.”
- “Judy, you have given me the tools to change and move my life in directions I never knew possible. I am truly grateful for your help.”
- “Perception is everything and working with Judy has helped me realise my true potential by changing my outlook of life into more positive ones. I enjoy walking out of a life coaching session feeling like I am in control again, less stressed and more energetic.”
- “Judy is my go-to person when I find myself uncertain about how to interpret the signposts in my life. Her insights and ability to draw out what lies deepest inside have helped provide clarity and integrity at pivotal life moments over many years.”
- “I’d recommend Judy to anyone who’s feeling stuck, weary, confused, discouraged, uncertain, in need of support – basically, I’d recommend her to any carbon-based life form that breathes oxygen and would like to have a wonderful life.”
As seen on and in
